Boldly Go Solo

Solo female travelers shouldn't let safety concerns put the world off limits

I've often been terrified before traveling to foreign countries outside of the "safety" of Europe.

I planned a trip to Ecuador and worried for weeks before going. Someone told me about a woman he'd met in Brazil who'd been harassed in Ecuador. I read about pickpockets and thieves and how careful women had to be at night.

The same thing happened before going to Egypt. All I could think of was the massacre I'd remembered that had taken place there 15 years ago. As if the next one were planned for the very time, place and day I'd be at, say, the Valley of the Kings or the Pyramids at Giza 15 years later.

And people around me freaked out when I said I was going to Mexico last fall. They'd read too much about kidnappings and drug-related killings. As had I. Although in that case, I wasn't very concerned. Can't explain why.

But while staying with a family in Guadalajara, Mexico, taking the city bus to Spanish classes and sightseeing around the downtown, I have to say, I didn't see one person carted off by a drug cartel member or shoved into a car and driven off for a ransom call.

Life seemed pretty normal despite the horror stories in the paper. Which are mostly about the border states, in any case, not all of Mexico.

This kind of thinking is understandable (I've GOT to say that, don't I, since I engage in it sometimes) but also not particularly rational.

I live in Washington, D.C. I watched the smoke from the 9/11 plane that crashed into the Pentagon rise into the sky as I made my way home that day. Terrorists had attacked within two miles of where I worked and within five miles of where I live.

Travel solo or buy more stuff?

What makes you happier? Possessions or experiences?  

I came across a blog post by someone who decided to fulfill his dream of living on a sailboat. He wrote four lessons on what he had learned from his experience.

Two resonated with me and will for most solo travelers: 

1. Life is about the experiences you have, not the possessions you own.

I wonder about this sometimes. When I return from a vacation that cost me, say, $1,500, I sometimes think, "That's over now. And what do I have to show for it?"

What I mean is with $1,500, I could have had a new computer with accessories that would last me years. Or a nice, new piece of furniture. Or who knows what else?

But travel is in a separate category of spending. A must-have category. My life would feel empty if I didn't go somewhere each year. I like things, but I like travel experiences more.

Other people feel differently. Some want to renovate their homes. Others want expensive new "toys," whether cars or boats or, I don't know, race horses. And will put off traveling.

If you're reading travel blogs like this one, you're likely in the "prefer experiences" category. (And aren't in the market for a horse any time soon.)

The sounds of Egypt include a lot of clip-clopping and calls to prayer

Before going to Egypt, my visions of the country didn't extend much beyond the pyramids, the Sphinx and Mubarek.

But two of the strongest memories I have now, in addition to those iconic pyramids, are of the many horses and buggies aimed that fill city streets, and the public call to prayer, or the "drone of proclaimed faith," as a Washington Post article called it, that occurs five times a day in Cairo, emanating from mosques' loudspeakers around the city.

When I first heard that drone one evening early in the trip, I was perplexed. Was someone playing the radio too loudly in the hotel room next door? I walked onto the balcony, overlooking the Nile, and eventually surmised the sound was coming from all around the city. Still, I wasn't sure what it was. And I certainly couldn't understand the Arabic to figure it out.

Eventually I learned meaning behind the chanting sound. The signal to Orthodox Sunni Muslims that it's time for prayer. You can tell the devout Muslims by the prayer mark on their foreheads. From touching their heads to the ground so often.

I was always intrigued by the sound when I heard it. It would start up and I would wonder what that noise was. Then it would hit me. Oh right, it's time for prayer. If I were near a mosque, I'd see men walking from all directions towards its doors.

I wanted to record the sound but it took forever to finally do so. Since I couldn't predict when the calls would happen or know where I'd be, I seldom had a recording device at the ready. But finally, in Luxor, I managed to capture it.

Well, actually, I captured two sounds. The other is of a horse clopping. The horse that was pulling the carriage I was riding in with my new-found friend Ann. (We met at the airport on the first day of our organized trip and discovered both of us had arrived solo.) We'd taken a long walk into town and toured the Luxor Museum and decided to give our legs a rest on the way back.

Besides, we'd seen these horses and buggies everywhere and wanted, finally, to hop on board. (Little did I know how hard that seat would be, despite the cushion.)

The sight of the carriages was most intriguing at Edfu, where they were coming from all directions to greet the early arrival of Nile cruise ships about to unload.

Like New York taxi drivers, I'm sure the carriage drivers have to make their "nut" each day, not for gas, but for feed for their horses. And upkeep of the vehicles.

The funniest thing about the ride was that our driver Mohamed, soon after picking us up, pulled over to a food cart to buy himself some sweets.

He was vaguely apologetic about it. Asked us if we wanted anything. Not the most efficient service. But charming in its way, after the initial "what the ...?"  He was just a hungry young guy. With a horse named Cinderella. Trying to earn a living.

Photos and video: Ellen Perlman. The Sphinx. A main drag in Luxor. The street by the dock in Edfu.

 

Take a photo of an information board and you have an instant carry along map and brochure

Smapping. That's what Mike Sowden calls it when you become your own cartographer/photographer:

"Smapping is the process of taking a digital photograph of a map that you won’t have access to later, except if you take a snap of it."

This is brilliant. I've done something similar by snapping signs and information boards when I didn't want to copy down a lot of facts. Just photo it, and it's yours for posterity. It's like having a researcher/assistant on board taking notes.

But I didn't really think about it for local maps. That is, to have one on your camera, instantly.

Using a photo of a map in real time may not be as nice as having an actual map of a place. But if you don't have one, I could see where a photo could come in very handy. As Sowden points out, it may seem small, but you can zoom in for details.

I like taking photos of local historical or informational signs because they're often more detailed than explanations in guidebooks. Or contain facts that you might not see anywhere else.

Another reason I snap is to place the scenery that I'm photographing once I get home. Sometimes, the places all begin to merge in my mind days or weeks later. If I take photos of signs as I enter or leave a place, I will know where my photos are from. 

Photos: Ellen Perlman

1- Valley of the Kings, Egypt

2- Manapouri, New Zealand

3- Skylab sign in Houston Space Center Museum

Travel writers offer 10 tips for better photos and solo travelers can benefit from the advice

One of the best tips a solo traveler can learn about photography is number nine on a list of 10 tips released by the Society of American Travel Writers Tuesday: "Put local people in your photos."

SATW says to do it because it gives your photos a sense of size and scale. I say to do it because it breaks down that wall between visitor and local and gives you an excuse to talk to people.

Yes, it takes a smattering of courage to approach strangers and ask permission to "make a picture" as professional photographers say. ("Shoot" is so violent...!!)

But with a digital camera, it takes little more than showing your photo to your subject to elicit a smile. And make them feel like they got something out of obliging you.

Children all over the world these days, it seems, know that their faces appear in the back of that little box that just flashed and will pull on you to see themselves. The smiles that appear from these encounters will include your own.

For instance, I saw a photogenic family at a shisha bar in Cairo. The father was smoking from a hookah while the wife and three children sat around the table with tea and other drinks. I thought they were Egyptian. It turns out they were tourists like me. From Armenia. Still worth a photo.

Despite not being able to speak English they tried to talk to me. The toddler could speak little of either of our languages. His mother worked on getting him to look at me. It was exhilarating having our little interchange and showing the children their animated faces between each shot. They leaned in close to see and then posed some more.

Same thing happened at the Sphinx, where I got smiles all around from a young family after I showed them photos of themselves.

The other tip that could be helpful to solo travelers is the one about getting up early, before the harsh light of day flattens the light. When a place isn't yet packed with tourists, both you and the locals will be less irritated by the madding crowds. 

Simply sitting beside someone on a bench or at the edge of a fountain might lead to conversation. If nothing else, it's a beautiful time to be out. Good for reflection and a little peaceful interlude before the rush of trying to see and do and get somewhere. 

As for the rest of the photo tips, well, they might not pertain to solo travel, but they're certainly useful for making better pictures.

Photos: Ellen Perlman. An Armenian family; a felucca captain on the Nile; an Egyptian family visiting the Sphinx.

All seemed to delight in seeing photos of themselves. (I think that silly head garb on the man on the right in the last photo is something he bought for cheap to keep the sun off him. Lots of vendors were trying to sell those to me. A square of cheap cloth with a ring you pop on your head to hold it down.)

Ballooning over the Valley of the Kings in Egypt and other exotic hot air adventures

The balloon lifted off the ground at dawn, the peaceful silence interrupted intermittently by a blast of noise and a wave of heat from the gas jets filling the huge orb above us. We were headed for the Valley of the Kings.

We didn't get there. We had signed up for a balloon ride over the Valley of the Kings where tombs of the pharoahs and other nobles are buried. But on the day of our adventure, the wind had other ideas. And none of the best laid plans of ours were going to change that.  

It was a glorious experience nonetheless. We glided over the monumental and the ordinary. Over the Temple of Hatshepsut and over little villages. Other balloons rose and floated along with us. We soared over cemeteries that looked like archaeological digs and little domed mosques.

I was reminded of this after coming across an MSNBC article from last June on the "coolest, most exotic" balloon adventures.

Occasionally in the past, I'd been tempted to try ballooning. I had read about excursions in nearby Virginia, but never felt motivated to spend the money. At the International Balloon Fiesta in Albuquerque, New Mexico, I was awed by the array of balloons in the air at sunrise. But that was thrilling enough. The sights were available from the ground.

In Egypt, however, it felt like a once-in-a-lifetime thing. And being in a group provided ease--just sign up on a sheet of paper--and a bit of peer pressure. What if it was fantastic and I hadn't gone? Better not miss that and have everyone be talking about it...

Having done it for the first time over amazing, unique sights, I realized the view is as important as the ballooning itself. If I were to do it again, it wouldn't be for the floating, which was lovely, but for a chance to see something I couldn't see any other way. Or, something that was worth seeing from every angle. 

For instance, Serendipity Adventures, mentioned in the MSNBC piece, takes you over an area where monkeys, sloths and toucans cavort. Or perch. The area can't be accessed on foot so ballooning is the ticket in.

Buddy Bombard's Europe puts guests up at chateaus and afternoon balloon rides take them over castles and vineyards.

Boldlygosolo, travel blog for solo travelers, is on twitter @boldlygosolo

Boldlygosolo can also be found on twitter at: www.twitter.com/boldlygosolo, as you may already know from all my tweets from Egypt. I remind you of this in case you are into twitter and would like to follow information about vacations and travel via a twitter account.

For those of you not that familiar with it (yet), twitter is a microblog that allows me to write 140 character items/updates. It's a place to have more of a conversation than on a "regular" blog.

I'm not here to sell anyone on twitter - your life is your own, my friends - but just to tell you there often will be information there that's not on this blog. That's because I might "retweet" posts from other travel bloggers, about bargains, or fun places, or whatever. Usually, I'll retweet when someone has provided an interesting Web site link with good travel information.

If you have no interest in twittering whatsoever, you can always read my "tweets" in the column that currently is located all the way to the bottom of this screen, to the right. (I will move it to a more prominent place during the times I'm on the road and writing about it every minute.)

You can see what I mean about retweeting by looking at the link provided by Donna Hull yesterday about bargain travel in New York City.

Anyway...it's also possible you could live a completely fulfilled and happy life without reading any tweets from me at all.

Photo: Ellen Perlman. Luxor Temple

Four tips for finding friends when traveling alone

Friends often seem just to appear when you're traveling solo, as I've written in many previous posts. But I enjoyed this amusing blog post on four ways to up the odds, written by Travel Betty. She describes those times when you just want to talk to someone instead of being on your own.

An abbreviated version of her tips:

One: seize on any commonality to open a conversation.

Two: scope out the scene at a restaurant and get yourself seated near the person or people you think you'd like to meet.

Three: remind yourself that you're not seeking a best friend, just someone to pass the time with for a little while.

And four: keep in mind that people at home like you, why wouldn't people in whatever country you're visiting? (hm, I don't think of this as a case of "ooh, people won't like me" but, whatever.)
  
I will add number five that is in direct contradiction, but also an addition, to tip  number one. And that is, approach people quite different from you. Those with whom you might have little commonality at all. Now, they're going to be interesting!

That's what happened in Egypt when I saw a gaggle of girls in head scarves giggling and chatting in the souk in Cairo. It was a sight to see for me, these young girls in colorful garb. Well, I shouldn't say sight to see so much as photo to take.

It was a little uncomfortable, but I approached them and asked if they minded if I took their photo. I wasn't sure they understood English, so I did the old charades motioning thing.

But their English was great. They were college kids hanging out after classes and they were only too pleased to meet Americans and talk about their classes and their lives in Cairo. Even gave me a demo of how to tie a head scarf after I asked.

Well, I don't think I actually asked for a demo. That's a bit forward. I happened to notice that they used pins to secure the scarves, when I'd always thought that Muslim women were just skilled in wrapping them tightly to keep them in place. I asked about that. One thing led to another. (And though I got the demo, I couldn't for the life of me repeat what they showed me.)

I've been back from Egypt for several weeks now, but yesterday I emailed, as promised, this and other photos to the young women who'd given me their addresses.

All in all, it was a very unlonely afternoon!

Photo: Ellen Perlman. Three college women, Cairo souk.

 

Egypt: Go solo or go solo with a tour?

 The Pyramids at Giza, the Sphinx and the Nile are generally what come to mind when people imagine Egypt. Fewer people know much about the temples at Abydos, Dendara, Edfu and Kom Ombo, to name a few of the ancient sites. A slide show below, once you continue reading on the next page, gives a small taste of the beauty and mystery of some of the antiquities.

Egypt seems a relatively safe place to visit solo, due to high security and a major police presence, but not necessarily an easy one. (See comments below re: safety) Vendors are aggressive and men likely will stare at women on the streets who aren't dressed modestly.

Few temples are labeled well, so if you go alone, you would benefit from hiring an English-speaking guide or getting a very detailed book about what you're seeing. The same is true of much of the Egyptian Museum in Cairo. It was handy to have our guide explaining what we were seeing and its importance to Egyptian life and culture.

On the other hand, the Luxor Museum and the Mummification Museum in Luxor, were well labeled and interesting and you could do those on your own easily. 

Now that I know the lay of the land at, for example, Kom Ombo, I could see how it would be easy to book your own Nile cruise, hop onto a horse and buggy at the dock where the carriages pile up waiting for tourists, and head for the temple.

Let Twitter be your companion, when you're missing the real thing

For solo travelers, twitter.com can be a beautiful thing.

Many people who hesitate to travel alone complain that they have no one to share the experience with. I found that downloading random thoughts about my travels in Egypt was hugely satisfying as a sharing technique. I sent off mini-blog posts just about anywhere I was.

I did it via a BlackBerry set to operate in Egypt. I realize not everyone is going to have this brilliant little piece of technology (are they for rent anywhere?) But Internet cafes can also work.

With twitter, all you do is sign up and start typing an answer to the question, "What are you doing?" People can go to your site and read your pithy answers.

Why twitter rather than email friends and family? It's six of one, half dozen of the other to some degree... but with twitter, you don't have to type in a lot of email addresses. You just jot your thoughts and they're available for anyone to read.

Since you're only allowed 140 characters or less (about 20-25 words) you need to be short and sweet. But you can write more than one post, so the limit isn't that limiting. I could write about ancient ruins one moment, and about the beautiful dessert at the luxury hotel the next.

My friends and family members remarked that they felt like they were right there on the trip with me. And that they enjoyed reading about it as it was happening. And I liked not having to buy stamps!

Photos: Ellen Perlman.

Rug factory shop, Sakkara, Egypt.

Dessert at poolside restaurant,

Luxor Hilton Resort and Spa

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